He is Always With You

 “He is always with you.” 

It has been three weeks since my dad passed away and I have heard that sentence or some version of it so many times from so many people. Mostly I've heard it spoken to my mom, but it's also been said to me, too. And it’s kind of driving me nuts.

Because my dad is not with us anymore. He is not here "in spirit".

I had a dream about him last night. It was actually really cool because my son, John, had a dream as well. After the service my son John wanted me to hang one of the photos I had printed off for the memorial up against the wall in his bunkbed space. It is a picture of my dad when he was somewhere around 3 or 4 years old, fishing, which was one of my dad's favorite pastimes. It is so cute. My son hung it beside a plaque that he got for Christmas, which says “Hooked on Fishing”. He said he put it there because Papa (as my children call him) hooked us for life.

When I tucked my son into bed last night, he was looking at the picture and told me that he was so sad. He was nearly in tears. I told him that I was so sad, too, and then we prayed together. And then we dreamed together. Although the dreams were not the same they were both about dad and I really feel like they were both a gift from God.

In my son’s dream we were up in the mountains, woodcutting, which was another of my dad’s favorite pastimes. Even though he ran chainsaw all week for a living, he loved it when we would go up to the mountains together as a family and cut wood. It is one of my favorite memories growing up as well. We have been woodcutting together all my life, and even when I had moved out and did not have a woodstove myself, I would still join my parents for the excursion. There’s something really special about being up in the mountains in the fresh air and working together. Wood has always been my parents’ only source of heat in their house so it was wonderful to be able to help them in this way.

In the dream we must’ve been finishing up our job, because my son said that my dad was sitting in the truck and Mom and I were loading up the rest of the wood. I asked him if Papa was sick in the dream, and he said no. But he saw his papa in the truck and he ran up to it and my dad opened the door and said "Hi, John!" and gave him a big hug. John said it felt so very good to hug his papa.

 Some people would say it was my dad's spirit visiting my son. I really am not convinced of that. I do know that the dream was an answer to the prayer that we prayed, and God is the one who deserves the glory because we were praying to Him and He answered and comforted my son. I'm so thankful!

In my dream, my dad had somehow, miraculously, been risen from the dead. Which doesn’t really make a lot of sense because he was cremated (not that I don't believe that God is totally capable of doing that, He did create Adam from dust after all!). My mom and I were just in shock and marveling that he was back with us. But there was a problem: my dad was still sick. His body has been brought back together from the ashes, but it was still terminally ill. Each breath was still a struggle. He couldn't live without an oxygen tank. And suddenly I was so grieved for him.

"You don't belong here, Dad!." I told him, "You’re supposed to be in heaven where you will feel better. You aren't meant for Earth anymore. You need to be with Him!"

 

"First Day in Heaven" by Kerolos Safwat

I know that there are a few instances in the Bible where those who have died visit the living, so I'm not saying it's impossible. I just don't really imagine that we will be as concerned about life on Earth as much then as we are now. We will have leveled up. We will have the ability to see a much bigger picture.

Right now, my dad is in the presence of God Almighty. Face to face. Experiencing things that we Earthlings can hardly imagine. I don't know about you, but I think I will probably spend the first couple thousand years just worshipping at His feet. I don't imagine myself thinking of anything else. So before I'm done with that, all my loved ones will have joined me. I won't be visiting them or sending them deer during hunting season (I don't imagine I would have the power to do that anyway) or anything like that. 

There are a lot of things I don't know, and I will be the first to admit that. But one thing I do know is that to be absent from this body is to be present with the Lord. My dad is with the Lord!

That being said, there is a part of my dad that will always be with me and that is the parts of me that I inherited and learned from him. I am undeniably his child, and I pass down his legacy to my children and their children. His spirit isn't with me, but he helped formed who I am, and that will always be with me. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. My dad has moved onto bigger and better things!

I'm not sure if my sharing my thoughts is helpful to you, but I guess it's a reminder that if you have any questions about anything, go to the Lord. He will help you understand. And also, He gives us comfort when we need it. He answers our prayers! He is the One who truly is always with us!

Much love,

Lee