Joy in the Journey

Good Morning Mamas, I shared with you awhile back how I was trying to get my eldest tested for learning disabilities and how there was a lot of frustration in the waiting period, not knowing fully what to push and what not to in my daughter's education. (See that blog HERE ) Well, that frustration didn't go away and shortly after I hit a wall in my daughter's reading. I couldn't get her to read smoothly and accurately no matter what I tried. I tried reading it to her. Having her record herself reading for accountability. Have her trace the words with her finger as she listened to the story. NOTHING helped. I had hit a big brick wall... The frustration of not being able to get a diagnosis and the right tools for my daughter only increased. Then homeschool test day came. My daughter's former co-op teacher (and a previous special ed teacher) was administering her private test. I talked with the teacher the day before the test to let her know what my daug...

Just a few minutes ago I was standing in the middle of my garden with the baby on my hip and my two little boys with me, and I was crying. Bawling, really. "What's wrong, mommy? Why are you crying?" I was crying because I was trying to pull up kale. And it hurt. It hurt too much to continue. But the pain wasn't the main reason for my tears. It was the frustration. The intense anger at the fact that I am so physically pathetic right now that I can't even pull up kale. Just so you get the full picture I will disclose that the kale plants are almost as tall as I am and most of them have stocks that are at least four inches in diameter. Every fall I let the kale grow like crazy in my garden. We eat off it throughout the winter and spring and then it goes to seed and I pull it up right before planting my new garden. Keeps the weeds down, too. So these plants are admittedly huge. But still! I'm 35 years old, I should be able to work in my own garden. I s...

I was walking around my room praying this morning (my new thing with the wet weather and how badly I zone out if I sit down) and I was just overcome with gratefulness.  I've had the best past two days!  I'm grinning right now because yes, two really good days is rare. The preteens plus toddler phase have left me frustrated most days, depressed others, and loosing my mind sometimes. Sure, there's always good moments, but when you are getting yelled at, screamed at, or have someone mad at you most days it really puts a damper on things. But these past two days have been just so sweet. We've had so many good moments, connecting moments, and I honestly can't recall one blow up. These past two days have made me not only intensely grateful for these happy moments but also for the current season of motherhood I'm in. I let my daughters run into Rays to get a treat and they were just so full of confidence and excitement, it was wonderful. We went on a crazy lo...

  It officially camping season! I don't know about you, but I love to camp. Being outdoors is so refreshing for me. It's one of my family's favorite past times and I think my kids would be happy if we constantly lived at camp all summer. .  Of course, it is also a lot of work. I had originally planned on camping for Memorial Day weekend. I had it on the calendar and also had a mental list going in my head about what I needed to do to prepare for the trip.  Then I had a busy week, and my body was complaining about it and telling me to slow down. So I had to tell my family that camping couldn't happen for us this weekend It was hard. It felt selfish. But it's what had to be done. Because I knew that if I pushed myself I would be feeling terrible at camp. And I may even set my surgery recovery back more. And it would probably ruin the plans we had for the next week because I would be recovering from the weekend I felt selfish, but i...

I was sitting outside this morning with my coffee, praying, when I noticed something had changed in my back yard from the day before. Where my green grass was fairly bare the day before, today it held what seemed like a million helicopter seed pods. I looked around, our entire  yard was covered with only ONE tree's seeds! All those seeds just so a few take root ,  I thought in wonder. Then I smiled. It was encouraging. It may take a thousand times of "planting a seed" before you see the results. It could take a million kind words before you ever see it make a difference. It could take years of hard work before you see a dream come true. It may take a lifetime of investment before you see it pay off... I think about those seeds covering my back yard and I think of motherhood. I think of my children and the thousand time I've shared the same lesson, given the same direction, or given an encouragement. Sometimes it looks like NOTHING is sinking in, especial...

My eldest two children are 18 months apart in age. This has many pros, as well as cons. One of the cons, my daughters go through stages back-to-back. My eldest has been in high-hormones, mood swings, body changes for awhile now, and now my second daughter is RIGHT behind her... My second daughter has reached what I unflatteringly call "The Brain Dead Stage". It's the stage where the hormones and changes are really kicking into high gear and my children, who are incredible kids, tend to do a lot of... Well, dumb things. It's really tough on me... but more tough on them! My second daughter has always been an incredibly bright child. I've often treated her older than her age because so often she acts older and more mature. Going through this phase has been incredibly frustrating to me. My normally brilliant child can't remember direction or directly does the opposite of every direction I give. She no longer seems to be able to figure out normal, simple ta...

We moved into this house 8 years ago and my chronic pain health problems began 7 years ago. I also had three baby boys in that seven year period, so I'm behind on a lot. On like, everything. There isn't one direction I could look in my house or property and feel like I don't need to do something to improve it. That is just incredibly overwhelming, but not uncommon, I know. A lot of people feel this way. A few months ago a friend challenged me to not look at myself as being behind, but to look at it like "this is just where I am right now". It was a good challenge, but I've been forgetting to do it lately. I've actually been battling a bit of depression about it, too. Monday, I decided to stop dwelling on this and do something about it. After breakfast, I declared to the kids that it was going to be a Catchup Day. I told them they could still earn their school marbles  as long as they worked hard to help me catchup. Basically, they did all their normal...