Joy in the Journey

If I've said it once, I've said it a million times, the preteen stage is ROUGH! Going through it again with my second daughter didn't make me any more confident the second time around. They're different, sure, but it's also such a whirlwind of crazy that it's hard to have a lot of rational thought about blowup after blowup after argument after argument.  I remember with my first getting to a point where I realized what was needed was: 1. To shut up as much as possible. Stop explaining or mom lecturing or any of it. Just let her make choices and see the results without my comments. 2. That it didn't matter what I said or did, she was going to argue. I just had to do my best to not engage in the fights. 3. She needed room to try new things, go new places. She was ready to explore the world within reason. Now, second time around. What have I learned from the first trip around?... That I will make it through. That it's a stage. That, honestly, this is my le...

2 Corinthians 6:14 warns not to be unequally yoked but I have a confession to make: I totally am. image from thetruthstandsforever.com No, that does not mean that I am married or a business partner with someone who is not a Christian. That part of the verse doesn't apply to my situation. The reason I am unevenly yoked is because I am harnessed to someone so high above me. That someone is Jesus.  I must confess that Matthew 11:29-30 has always confused me a bit. Jesus is talking and He says: " Take My yoke upon you   and learn from Me, for I am   gentle and   lowly in heart,   and you will find rest for your souls.   For My yoke  is  easy and My burden is light.”  But that is because I never truly understood the whole picture. I thought Jesus was saying that being a Christian is easy, but that didn't make sense to me because life is still hard whether you are a Christian or not.  from gotquestions.org Recently in a Bible study we learned ...

  At church we were talking about God's design, male and female and the family. The pastor gave a charge to the men and then to the women. He talked about enjoying womanhood and being a women. Then he hit home when he said. "Moms, be there for your kids, no one else  can do what you do. Wives, be there for your husband, no one else can do what you do. This is your highest calling." Careers are awesome. Pursuing your dreams are important. Finding joy and fulfillment is necessary BUT, don't give up what is truly  and eternally important for lesser things. This is your greatest calling.  What you do in your home will  make more life-altering impact than anywhere else you will serve. The investment you make in your family, in your marriage (if you are married), in your children will return far fuller than any financial decision you will ever make!  This is your highest  calling. NO ONE else can do what you do! I thought about this on the way home and ...

 I've been thinking about "fit" a lot lately.  Not being physically "fit", though I'm enjoying how the nice weather has allowed us to get exercise by working in the yard more. Not a toddler "fit", though that is really starting to be a thing at our house as my little guy gets closer to turning two.  Not even clothing "fit", though that is also starting to be a thing as my pregnancy progresses.  photo from historymyths.wordpress.com Do you think you are a "fit" mother? The definition of the fit I'm referring is:  of a suitable quality, standard, or type to meet the required purpose. What a loaded question, right? I feel like we mothers are plagued with it constantly, though. I know I ask myself a lot. Last week, I really messed up and said something hurtful to my five-year-old. As a result I ended up sitting on my bed alone, crying my heart out. There was so much guilt and condemnation pressing down on me. The thought, "...

My daughter is a spit fire.  She's a fighter at heart. Sure, she struggles with insecurities that makes her self-defensive answers more adamant. Sure, she has times that she gives, but mostly, nearly always, she fights. That has only increased with age and normal puberty development. There's been major fights and fits and times my husband and I are at a complete loss at what to do with our strong-willed child. There's moments of deep discouragement by her actions and hurt by her words. It's really hard some times. She's a fighter and she fights everything. After a particularly horrible fight, my husband told her that her attitude was similar to her birth mom and that she got to choose to use it for good or for evil... That didn't sit right with me. It made it sound like who she was, connected with her birth mom, was such a negative thing. I went to talk to her. I told her, that yes, she does take after her birth mom but that is NOT a bad thing, it's a gift. ...

I have a confession: I have been fantasizing...about sourdough bread. For the past 16+ months! Let me explain. When my little guy was born, he was a pretty fussy kid. I know some babies are just more prone to fussiness than others, but he also had a chronic diaper rash that I couldn't get to permanently resolve no what I tried. These symptoms seemed to pop up at the most random times. Took me a few months to realize that it correlated with when I ate wheat. As I was exclusively breastfeeding at the time, I've been pretty much wheat free since he was around 4 months old. It wasn't an easy thing to do, and I wish I could say I was completely unselfish all the time. There were a few times I would take a bite of something and live to regret it when my poor little guy would get all red, and even got blisters! I'm certainly no saint. It was quite a challenge for me. But mamas, it was so worth it! My sweet little angel, so grown up. Weaned, potty trained, sleeping in his own b...

When I was in my early twenties, I could go to events nearly every day. I had Bible Studies, College Groups, and volunteer work I did weekly. I had three or four things every week that I would go to. I sometimes even spent an entire day out and about with no down time at all. I would go to work, then shop around town knowing I had something in the evening, and then to my group in the evening, getting home late.  Then, I had kids... You probably know what I'm going to say next: I don't do that anymore. I can't do that anymore. I would be a nervous wreck and a complete crazy women if I lived at the speed that I did before kids, before a family. Now, a good amount of "scheduled things" for me is one per week, not counting church. Sounds very different than my no-kids lifestyle. But here's the thing that I learned in early motherhood. I went from just me to having two young daughters. I couldn't understand why I was SO EXHAUSTED! Then I put two and two togeth...

Mom anger. I hate it. But I can't ignore that it's a thing. Last night I battled with my son for ONE AND A HALF HOURS to get him to bed. Most of that time, he was screaming at me. Most of the time, I wanted to scream at him. I didn't, but I can't honestly say that all of my words were gentle, or saintly. And most of my actions were foolish.  It's easy to see that now, of course. It's always easy to see what I should have done differently in retrospect. But when I am caught up in the emotion of the moment...that's a different story. image from workingmother.com It's really frustrating to me that I am not better at dealing with the mom anger. I've been a mom for over twelve years, you would think that I would have made more progress! But I have to give myself grace. Confess that I was wrong, of course, and ask forgiveness. But also forgive myself and learn from it and move on. I know what the triggers for last night were. For one, it was potty training...

Holy cow Mamas, I feel like I've been ranting, venting, and sharing about the preteen mom life for ages now... It has been four years, but still, it seems like I just go 'round and 'round on this. Today sucked! Like really sucked. Like by 10am I was texting my husband "I hate today" and had already, first thing after leaving my room (I do all my personal care stuff first), had a fight with my daughter... Again! Over being late to get her stuff done. So that happened and then I tried to calm myself down and pull myself up by the bootstraps and be a good example and yada, yada, you know what I mean. And I did, sort of. I started laundry, I meal prepped, I did school with my eldest, I was still "crushing it"... Then the second fight of the day, with the same kid ... I was less self controlled, less gracious this second time around and honestly, I was just plain TICKED! The disrespect, the sass attitude, and the snide response got under my skin. I yelled, wa...