No, I'm not Better than That!

Holy cow Mamas,

I feel like I've been ranting, venting, and sharing about the preteen mom life for ages now... It has been four years, but still, it seems like I just go 'round and 'round on this.

Today sucked! Like really sucked. Like by 10am I was texting my husband "I hate today" and had already, first thing after leaving my room (I do all my personal care stuff first), had a fight with my daughter... Again! Over being late to get her stuff done.

So that happened and then I tried to calm myself down and pull myself up by the bootstraps and be a good example and yada, yada, you know what I mean.

And I did, sort of. I started laundry, I meal prepped, I did school with my eldest, I was still "crushing it"... Then the second fight of the day, with the same kid...

I was less self controlled, less gracious this second time around and honestly, I was just plain TICKED! The disrespect, the sass attitude, and the snide response got under my skin. I yelled, was less than awesome, and then went and sat by self for a long time.

Photo Credit: goodhousekeeping.com

My poor husband came home and I left for a "break" and he ended up having to deal with two angry ladies...

I came back, STILL mad (stemming from hurt) and really didn't know what to do to make things better.

I knew I hadn't reached outside of my own sinful self to love my daughter as well as I could of. I knew that I had joined my daughter in being kind of a jerk. I knew I hadn't lived up to being the mom I like to be...

"Your better than that" my husband told me. I scowled but thought about it for awhile before responding.

"No, I'm not better than that! I loose my crap too some times. I have limits. I have moments where I don't do the best than I can do. I'm human."

Was I happy with how today's fights went? No. 
Did I do as well as I could have? No.

But, here's the thing, I'm human. I'm weak at times. I have other things going on and sometimes the preteen attitude and backtalk gets the better of me... It gets the better of us all. 

Parenting is not for the faint of heart. There are days we don't do our best, when we have those less than self-controlled responses, when we act out of our own issues and selfishness BUT we get back up! We try another day! We fight another fight. We stay and love and try to do better. Say sorry if you need to, talk about it, make a plan, and try again.

Much love,
-Joy