Falling Apart...

We don’t know why she had that alabaster jar of ointment. Perhaps she used it in her business? Perhaps she was planning to sell it and use the money to escape her life of sin? We do know that it was expensive and imported; alabaster came from Egypt. And we do know that she had somehow heard of Jesus of Nazareth and the amazing things that He was doing and saying. Maybe she had even heard Him speak? Maybe she knew someone who was healed by Him? She found out that He would be at Simon the Pharisee’s house, so she took the jar and went after Him.

How did she get in? To show their generosity, important people would invite the lowly to come to their meals and sit against the walls as the host and guests ate. After the honorable had left the table, the dishonorable would leave the wall and eat the leftover scraps, probably fighting the dogs and each other to get their fill. I don’t know how she heard about this meal or if she was personally invited, but I do know that when she got there, there was room by Jesus’s feet.

Why was no one sitting at Jesus’s feet? Was it because the host, Simon, had refused to show Him honor? In Jesus’s culture, it was common curtesy to welcome your guests with a kiss, wash their feet, and give them olive oil for their hands. Special guests would be anointed with oil upon their heads. A rabbi like Jesus should have been anointed when visiting a Pharisee’s house, even if He had most likely only been invited so Simon could test Him with questions.  Was Jesus the only one who was snubbed in this fashion? Did everyone in the room notice that Simon had shown Him no honor? It didn’t matter to her; she went right for His feet.

In her culture, a woman’s hair was her glory, kept sacred and covered, usually only seen by her husband. Were the tears she shed from shame or pain, or both? She brought her glory, her riches, her shame, her pain, her love…all to Jesus, and anointed His feet with them. You know there had to be snot mixed with those tears, but it didn’t matter. She was cleaning His feet and He was cleaning her soul. He was the only rabbi who made the unclean, clean, just by touching them. A total reversal of how things had operated thus far. The pharisee wasn’t impressed.

He had invited Jesus to test Him, and so far, He seemed to be failing. Surely a prophet would know what kind of a woman this was. But the prophet looked him in the eye and asked him a question about debt and forgiveness. I think that Simon must have seen the point right away, because he answered Jesus’s question with an “I suppose…”, like he was reluctant to admit the point.

Then Jesus looked at the woman but continued to speak to the Pharisee. He didn’t give Simon the honor of eye contact while He validated her actions. He honored her. His words rearranged the room, as though she were the esteemed one who deserved the respect...even though she had completely fallen apart on Him.

We don’t know how she got the alabaster jar or what her original plans were, but we do know that it helped her get away from her life of sin. She used her love and faith to purchase her salvation. She came to Jesus and spilled herself out, and He forgave her and blessed her with peace.

Just like He does for each one of us. Go to Jesus with your tears, mamas, He can handle them. As a matter of fact, He values them. And our falling apart on Him is part of what makes us whole again.