He Left His Mark on Me

I recently shared with you how we got mirrored closet doors in our bedroom and I had to learn to get used to how I look now vs prebaby (Read that blog HERE). Well, I've been thinking about that a little more lately.

Just like how becoming a mother changed my heart and life forever with my oldest two, getting to give birth to my son has changed my body forever. Sure, my 3.8 degree tear has healed and I'm "good as new". Sure, I'm similar to my pre-pregnancy weight. Sure, I did Kegels and I don't pee myself anymore and can even get on a trampoline but it's still different.

My breast, holy cow, have they changed and not in the direction I was hoping for (you know what I mean). My stomach, though the weight is similar, just is not the same shape. My hips, my thighs, you name it, things are just different. 

Becoming a mother changes your life forever, giving birth to your child leaves a physical mark that shows it. You can't see what happens on the heart when you have a child, but on the body, the marks remain.

The shape, the sag, the stretch marks on my stomach show that he was there.

It's taken a lot of getting used to and I'm sure there's more adjusting to be done but I thought the other day that it's something so sweet that my son has left his mark on me. I will never not hold, on my body, the fact that he was in my body, a gift I do not take lightly. He has left his mark on me and though I often see the change as more of a negative, I want to look at it instead for what it is, a gift.

That I got to help him grow within my body and my stomach shows that, it is a gift. That my body got to feed him and provide nutrients to him after he was outside shows on my chest, that is a gift. The stretch marks, the loose skin, the saggy spots, are all marks that I was able to give the most remarkable gift to my son! That I got to carry him, deliver him, nurse him, and provide a safe place for him to be, inside and out of my body, is a gift I'll never get over. 

He left his marks all over me and that is something I want to treasure as a reminder of the great gift he is and the incredible honor it is to be his mom.

Much love,
-Joy