I'm Changing My Mind

"Mommy, what does stagnant mean?"

My four year old asked me this question after I told him not to play in the icky pool of water near the swimming hole. I explained to him how when there is no movement of water, no change, nasty things grow and the water is gross. 

It got me thinking about some things that I have been working on lately. 

A few weeks ago, I vacuumed out my car.

In the past, this has been one of my most stressful chores. I spend the entire time being disgusted with my children. I am angry about how much food and garbage there is in the back seats. I swear to never let my kids eat in the car again and usually give them a good tongue lashing as well. 

This time, though, I decided to take a different approach. Instead my thoughts were:

"My car looks like this because I allow my children to eat in the car. They are little and can't keep things perfectly clean."

"I need to talk to the boys about making sure their garbage gets put away. Maybe a little container back here will help?"

"I need to hold the kids accountable and make time for them to clean their area of the car every week."

There was no anger. There was no stress. I remained calm. 

image from medium.com

Nothing has brought 2 Corinthians 10:5 alive to me more than helping my 6-year-old navigate OCD and Tourettes has. The verse talks about taking every thought captive. That is a toughy. But I had another opportunity to do it and it involved my tic-ing little boy.

Doing his reading lessons with him has been almost torturous for me because of his constant tics. He reads two words *snorts*sputters*wiggles*looks off to the side*makes more sounds* reads two more words...repeat...and he's advanced enough in his reading that we do whole chapters at a time. Whole chapters that take a...really...long...time... 

I've talked to him about it, and he is doing a little better at trying to at least finishing a sentence before he does his tics, but its tough for him, too. His brain is sending his muscles the signal to move, and his muscles really want to obey, just as they are wired to do. 

To help with my frustration, I decided that his reading lessons each school day are just going to be my physical break time. Not a metal break at all, but at least I can sit and rest my body. I nurse the baby if he wants it. Or, better yet, crochet! I allot at least an hour for the lesson and don't look at the clock or plan to do the lesson when I have something pressing coming up. It's only been a few days of doing things this way, but it has made a difference.

The way we think has such a huge impact on our daily life, doesn't it? I feel like at least 90% of how our day is going is determined by our mindset. How we choose to think of a situation can carry more importance than what is actually happening to us. 

There are a lot of things that I need to renew my mind about. As with all things in life, it's a process of trial and error. Lots of trying and failing and getting back up and trying again. And maybe failing again.

We CAN do this, mamas.

Lots of love,

Lee