What Can I Do?

Five weeks ago, I told my surgeon that I was in 90% less pain than before. She was thrilled. 

Then I started to resume my normal activities...

Four weeks ago, I was standing at my kitchen sink and thinking, I will never take being able to stand long enough to wash my dishes for granted again!

Two weeks ago, I couldn't take it anymore and called my mom up sobbing and asked if she could come over and help me by washing my dishes. I just couldn't handle the pain. 

For those who don't know, I had a double inguinal hernia surgery at the end of January to fix one hernia and try to fix the damage that was done from my last surgery (2016). Either the surgery wasn't as successful as we had hoped or I tried to resume normal activity too soon. Either way, nothing can be done to help me until the COVID-19 pandemic passes except resting and trying to keep from getting worse. 

This is hard for me. SO hard. I have spent the past 7 years dealing with this chronic pain and I had hoped I would be able to resume an active lifestyle again. I'm not good at just sitting around.

I've shed a few tears over it. I tried to slip into depression over it. 

I'm not going to let that happen.

I really feel like God has put in my heart that I need to stop focusing on what I can't do, and focus on what I CAN do.

I can't exercise right now, but I can work on eating more healthfully.

I can't paint and rearrange my house right now, but I can plan and dream and look at color swatches.

I can't help my friends and family physically right now, but I can pray for them and encourage them and sew masks for them. 

I can't take my kids on outdoor adventures, but I can sit on the floor and help them build a dragon world with cardboard boxes and paper and (LOTS of) glue. And when the baby needs me and I can no longer help them, I can read to them. 

With the coronavirus at large, we are all restricted right now. Dear mama, I want to challenge you to focus on what you CAN do.

There is always something you can do. You are already doing so much!

You are making a safe and happy home for your children, in the midst of utter chaos. 

You are amazing.

Please don't focus on the negative, mama. Don't let depression from the problems of this world creep in on you. 

This will not last forever. Yes, it is HARD. We don't know how long it will last. But this too shall, eventually, pass. 

Lots of love, mama.

Hang in there!

~Lee